We made the decision to adopt in July 2004 on a boat in the waters around Cape Town, South Africa. Kayla and I had agreed that we would start a family after we visited my home nation together. It was one of those arrangements where men and women have completely different perspectives. My wife agreed to wait that long to have kids and I was proud of myself for buying that much time. As the time for our trip approached she reminded me of our deal. I had secretly hoped that she had forgotten. The prospect of being a parent terrified me. We were both open to adoption and had not tried to conceive. So she contacted several agencies and we took all of their materials with us. We would be together on three flights totaling 23 hours to get to my hometown. We spent some time reading and discussing the materials but I was still not sure what to do.

After a wonderful vacation it was finally time to come home. We had tried (unsuccessfully) each of the three days we were in Cape Town to take the boat out to Seal Island. Seal Island was featured on the Discovery Channel during Shark Week because of the jumping Great White sharks who feed on the seals. We were not aware of this phenomenon when we climbed on the boat that morning. We didn’t want to get wet we decided to sit on the sheltered deck where we were joined by 15 kids from a local orphanage. I have never been around happier children. They sang all the way out and all the way back. I was so moved. I felt like we had been given a sign. As we drove to the airport I said to my wife “I think we’re supposed to adopt”.

We went to an information meeting, picked an agency and became licensed foster parents soon afterwards. We became the proud and very nervous parents of a beautiful four pound, four month old baby girl in March 2005. After years of mediations, negotiations and other trials we were finally able to adopt Tori on April 30, 2008.

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